THE PROCESS OMEGA CHURCH OF THE FINAL JUDGEMENT Friday 7 August 1970 revised September 1973
Brethren, As it is,
1. 1 In BI 23 we spoke of the two levels of feeling. The example used was that you might 'feel' like hitting someone over the head, but at the same time you might 'feel', on another level, that it is not appropriate to do so. There is no con- tradiction or anachronism in this, it is simply two levels of fee1ing operating simultaneously; and if this is understood, there need be no conflict between the two levels; both can be given the validation due to them.
2 The first is the level of pure emotion; instincts, attitudes and urges. The second is the level of intuition; knowledge, awareness, understanding. On one level appears the emotional drive, the urge or the attitude. At the same time, or immedi- ately following, on another level, appears the intuitive judge- ment of how to act or not act in relation to the drive. The second may well advocate curbing of the first. But as long as there is in addition an understanding of the nature of this pattern, the emotion and the intuition need not strive against one another. The intuition can validate and yet control the emotion, rather than fighting against it or shying away from it.
3 Conscience, for example, is there to control and channel instincts, not to struggle with them or suppress them. If it feels threatened by their existence - afraid, ashamed, horrified, disgusted or disappointed - it is in no position to control them. Only by accepting and validating the instincts, whether positive or nega- tive, by recognising their positive meaning and significance, can the intuition control them, either by allowing them to manifest, expressing them, enacting them, curbing them or rechannelling them, whichever 'feels' appropriate. It is this level of feeling which constitutes intuitive judgement.
4 And it is on this level of feeling, which the female has a greater capacity than the male. Intuitive awareness and judgement is a female quality.
5 Neither sex has a monopoly in the area of pure emotion. The capacity for emotional intensity is basically common to both.
6 The male's area of supremacy is the intellect; the power of logical thought. He leads in the area of intellectual judgement; whilst the female leads in the area of intuitive judgement.
7 The male acts or does not act according to his emotions, on the basis of an intellectual analysis of the situation. This may be very simple or very complex, very direct or very subtle, depending on the intellectual capacity of the particular male involved. But the important thing is that it is 'thought' not 'feeling' which is the criterion; intelligent thought or stupid thought, sequitors or non sequitors, single thought or multiple thought, sane thought or insane thought, logical thought or illogical thought, straight thought or devious thought; but thought.
8 The female, on the other hand, acts or does not act according to her emotions, on the basis of an intuitive assessment of the situation. This also may be profound or shallow, penetrating or superficial, depending upon the intuitive capacity of the particular female involved. The criterion in her case is 'feeling' rather than 'thought'; sensitive feeling or erratic feeling,accurate feeling or erroneous feeling, profoundly aware feeling or dismally unaware feeling, naive feeling or sophisticated feeling, sympathetic feeling or harsh feeling; but feeling.
9 In the male, whatever his scope" or ability or capacity or level of operation, the intellect, such as it is, is dominant. In the female, the intuition, such as it is, is dominant. Neither is more or less valuable or important than the other. Neither is more or less right than the other. Both are essential aspects of the Game.
10 The ideal is that the two should complement one another, just as the ideal relationship between male and female is a comp- lementary one.
11 In some situations an intuitive judgement is required; in others an intellectual judgement is required. So in some situations the female leads; in others the male leads.
12 The male has the intellectual approach, the female has the intuitive approach. Both have their use and their validity. Both have their part to play. And neither is ultimately more important than the other.
2. 1 And within a single individual, the pattern is the same. Because just as no one is all Jehovian or all Luciferian and no one is all Christian or all Satanic, so no one is all male or all female.
2 A biological male may have heavier leanings towards the male principle than the female, but that does not mean he is devoid of female attributes and characteristics. Similarly with the biological female. All of us contain both sexes, sometimes in such well balanced quantities that it is hard to tell which sex we really are! And it is as important for us to coordinate the powers of intellect and intuition, thought and feeling, within ourselves, as it is to complement one another in these areas.
3 The current human pattern of agreements places the male in the lead overall, and makes him essentially dominant over the female. It places intellect above intuition in value and validity. This is an imbalance, and helps to propagate conflict between male and female, rather then encouraging cooperation.
4 The ideal is balance. The ideal is to create and establish a complementary relationship between male and female, and between intellect and intuition. So that each leads in its own time, in its own territory and in its own way; so that each follows when it is time and place for the other to lead; so that there is coordination instead of competition.
5 And we can begin within ourselves. Instead of protesting or promoting our masculinity or our femininity, and shying away from or trying to suppress the other, we can begin to accept the fact that we contain both, quite validly, and that each has its own separate areas of manifestation. There may be a heavy bias on one side, or an even balance, depending on our required function and position in the Game. But the important thing is not how much of each there is, but how they manifest and how they relate to one another; whether they conflict and compete, or coordinate and complement.
6 For example, very often an even balance of male and female quaiities in one person, shows itself in a physical bias in one direction offset by a mental bias in the other; a biological female with a male outlook on things, or a biological male with a female outlook. In such cases you have what can look, in current human terms, like anachronisms; a male with an intuitive approach, a female with an intellectual approach.
7 While there is a pattern of conflict between male and female, and little understanding of the true nature and significance of the difference between the two, this type of situation can produce agonising prob1ems, and can help to intensify the conflict.
8 One possible effect is that each side, intent upon its own sur- vival and fearful of defeat and elimination, attempts to encroach on the territory of the other. (A common basic human pattern, illustrated very clearly on a wider scale by territorial warfare.) This of course intensifies the fear and therefore the aggressive instinct on both sides. The result is, for example, that the biological male begins to assume PHYSICAL as well as mental female characteristics, and at the same time begins to adopt un- natural masculine attitudes which conflict with his naturally feminine outlook.
9 If the male and female divisions within the individual are understood, accepted and validated, there is no need for such confusion. The dividing lines can be precise, and each side can feel secure in its own territory, and not try to intimidate or displace the other.
10 The masculine female and the feminine male are not anachronisms, but illustrations - sometimes tragic illustrations - of attempts to balance the two sides, to bring them together in harmony with one another. Where such attempts fail, as they usually do in a 'normal' human environment, they can produce an even greater burden of agony for those who make them, than the familiar outward conflict between the sexes. But where they succeed, and in the world of The Process they can and do succeed, they are a major factor in helping to lead all of us towards a greater joy of harmony and fulfilment. They are embodiments of that ultimate ideal, the reconciliation of opposites.
3. 1 In the human world there is not only simple conflict between male and female. That alone would 'be too easy to unravel. There is a mass of tortuous confusion; evidence that there is also just as powerful a conflict between conflict itself-and harmony. Male and female are in conflict, but they are also in conflict with that conflict, because they equally desire love and harmony. The simple conflict of war is complicated by the additional conflict between peace and war. Intense confusion is the inevitable outcome.
2 For example, the Jehovian principle belongs innately to the female side. It is based on an intuitive approach, and the hoped-for end result is ruthless courage unimpeded by intellectual analysis. The Luciferian principle belongs innately to the male side. It is based on an intellectual approach, and the hoped-for end result is optimistic idealism unspoiled by intuitive awareness.
3 (If the Jehovian thinks too much he may lose his impetus. If the Luciferian feels too much he may lose his idealism!)
4 Yet Jehovian characteristics are 'normally' associated with the male, and Luciferian characteristics with the female.
5 There has been, and still is, so much confused interaction between the two sides, so many swings of the pendulum back and forth, so much over- compensation in an attempt to baiance, so much cross-fertilisation in an attempt to make contact, so much borrowing of qualities in an attempt to outwit, so much hiding in an attempt to escape, so much inverting in an attempt to resolve, so much distorting in an attempt to remain unscathed, that although the patterns themselves, like the God patterns, are precise and unequivocal, their manifestations in individuals are confused and undefinable.
6 In the patterns, we can point to precise and definite characteristics and qualities. In ourselves we can only point to tendencies.
7 But one thing we know. Each of us is both male and female to some extent or another, and we do not need to struggle to be all one or all the other. The woman need not fight for her femin1ty against encroaching masculine tendencies. The man need not protest his masculinity in fear of a rising tide of feminine attitudes and inclinations. Ultimately we may aim to rise above that particular differentiation. so that we are neither male nor female, but something which transcends the division of sex. But first we must recognise and accept the fact that we are BOTH male and female, and aim to achieve a balance between the two of them within ourselves.
8 And balance does not require identical quantities on each side. That is one form of balance. But a balance can be achieved when equal importance and significance is given to both sides, when both sides are validated according to their true nature. An individual can be three quarters male and one quarter female. If both three and one accept their territory, their function, their nature, their value and their purpose, if each is given an equal validity according to what it is and what it does and what it means, then there is balance. Angles do not have to be equal in order to complement one another. They simply have to be correctly placed, in perfect contact and coordination, and together form a whole. And that is balance.
9 But as long as we fight for one side, male or female, against the other, within our own personalities, there is no balance, and we shall con- tinue to fight for one against the other OUTSIDE of ourselves, and the war between male and female will go on. But if we cease the struggle and the protest within, then the struggles and the protests without will cease; and the male can live in harmony instead of conflict with the female, and the female can be at peace instead of war with the male.
10 And if we allow our intuition, scope and freedom to operate when it is required, and equally if we give our intellect scope and freedom to operate when it is required, and if we coordinate the two in such a way that the best results are produced by both of them, then the same pattern will manifest outwardly. Those with a male approach, and a greater talent for logical thought than intuitive awareness, will be given freedom and encouragement to apply their talent where and when it is most appropriate; and those with a female approach, and a greater capacity for intuitive awareness than logical thought, will have an equal freedom and encouragement to use THEIR talent when and where it is most appropriate. A balance instead of a conflict; pease instead of war. And energy directed outwards, instead of destructively against itself.
11 Intuition and intellect can operate together. In fact they cannot operate truly effectively EXCEPT together.
12 THE INTUITIVE APPROACH IS THE APPROACH OF THE REALIST WHO FEELS THINGS AS THEY ARE. THE INTELLECTUAL APPROACH IS THE APPROACH OF THE IDEALIST WHO CALCULATES THINGS AS THEY CAN BE.
13 WlTHOUT THE IDEALIST, THE REALIST CANNOT LOVE, BECAUSE HE HAS NO ULTIMATE PURPOSE. WITHOUT THE REALIST, THE IDEALIST CANNOT MOVE BECAUSE HE HAS NO STARTING POlNT.
14 A BEGINNING WITHOUT AN END IS DIRECTIONLESS. AN END WITHOUT A BEGINNING IS MEANINGLESS.
15 The female, Jehovian, intuitive approach, establishes the beginning, which is real. The male, Luciferian, intellectual approach, visualises the end, which is ideal. Without the other each is a one-pole exist- ence, and therefore has no substance. Together they constitute the basic elements of a game.
16 Together in conflict they constitute a negative death-oriented game. Together in harmony they constitute a positive life-oriented game.
4. 1 Sex is one of the prime areas in which the female element leads.
2 The female's intuitive abilities give her a far greater capacity for control than the male in this highly emotionally charged area. This is her territory rather than his.
3 There is little room for intellectual analysis in the experience of sex; in anticipation and in retrospect, yes, any amount of logical thought is possible and may well be appropriate. But at the time of the experi- ence, emotions are so intense that thought is drowned. It is a moment of reality. The concept of the ideal, which belongs to the intellect, can be entertained before and after, but the time itself requires an experience of the real, which belongs to the intuition; which, far from being drowned by the intensity, is heightened. So the female comes into her own. She leads. Her powers are in the ascendent.
4 This gives us a clue to the answer to the question of which areas belong to male and which to female; which territories require intellectual analysis, and which require intuitive awareness.
5 When emotion is at low intensity, intuitive povlers have little onto which to grasp. We know by what we fee1. And if we feel very little in a situation, emotionaliy, then on that level we can know very little about that situation. But at such a time there is every scope for cool analytical thought. So the power of the intellect comes into its own.
6 Things cannot be known through awareness, when there is no emotion, but they can be calculated and discovered through logical thought. And that is a male function.
7 Errors of judgement come about when female intuition is applied where there is a minimum of emotion, and when male intellect is applied where there is a high intensity of emotion. The first requires imaginitive speculation - which the female is not good at because of her close involvement with the real - and amounts to arbitary guess- work. The second requires suppression to keep the emotions at bay, and amounts to tortured protest.
8 The female operates most effectively when emotions are intense, either positive or negative. Her intuitive power relies upon tuning in to projections and emanations, and these stem from emotional intensity. When there is no emotional intensity, there are no projections, no signals for the female intuition to receive and translate.
9 The male operates most effectively when emotions are at a minimum. His intellectual power relies upon piecing together ideas, speculations, indications, past experlences and future predictions. Strong projections and emanations confuse him. They are like wind coming through the window and blowing the papers on his desk out of order. They hinder rather than help his calculations.
10 Sexual experience is a gift to the intuition. It is essentially highly emotional, and therefore generates strong and very definite signals. Unless the female is afraid to use her power, and unwilling to receive the information which the signals contain, unless she is reluctant to accept the responsibility which her intuition gives her, in which case such powerful messages are likely to frighten her away, she has a golden opportunity to make full use of her abilities. Whether she takes that opportunity for good or for ill, depends upon her intentions towards the male.
11 The male meanwhile is out of his element. Logical thought is difficult in the face of emotional intensity, whether the emotions are his own or in the form of highly charged projections from someone else. Unless he clamps down on his responses, suppresses his own emotions and switches off any sensitivity he might have to emanations from outside, he is open to whatever effects the female, with her powerful instrument of intuition, decides to create on him. Again, whether those effects are destructive or helpful, depends upon her intentions towards him.
5. 1 In UNemotional situations. where there is conflict between male and female and therefore destructive intent on both sides, the male uses his intellect to confuse the female, to make her feel inferior, to tie her in mental knots. He does not have to be logical in order to do this, in fact he often does it by being deliberately and calculatedly ILlogical. And the female is vulnerable, because logical thought is not her territory. She is eminently confusable, because she has little sense of intellectual right and wrong, and thought processes are some- what alien to her nature.
2 So her response is generally to introduce emotion into the situation; to charge it with feeling, so that it then becomes HER territory, and she can retaliate with her intuition, which comes back into play as the emotional intensity generates projections, and attack the male in his most sensitive areas.
3 If the male allows emotion to enter the picture, particularly if he rises to its bait and manifests emotional intensity himself, when he has lost his advantage, and HE then becomes vulnerable.
4 In the area of sex, a highly emotional situation, again where there is conflict and destructive intent, the female who is not too afraid of her advantage to make use of it, uses her intuition to find the male's points of vulnerability - masculinity, morality, dignity, loyalty, honour, decency, and of course potency - and attack them with accurately aimed attitudes, projections, comments, reactions, suggestions, and evaluations. Even projections themselves can be enough to create the required effect, because although the male has not the intuitive power to translate and use projections to advantage, he is by no means in- sensitive to them, except when he deliberately suppresses his sensiti- vity as a defence against them.
5 Here the male is vulnerable, precisely because intuition is not his territory, and when powerful projections are coming at him, or intense emotions are welling up inside him, his own powers, which are intellectual, are swamped or thrown out of gear. He is unable to 'think straight' so HE becomes confused. Emotional intensity is shaky ground for him, particularly the extreme emotional intensity of sexuality.
6 The male basically feels sexuality, strongly, fairly indiscriminately, and with little consideration for moral, ethical, or aesthetic standards. He may suppress, distort, invert or in some other way tamper with those feelings before they reach the surface of his mind, but they are there, and he cannot altogether destroy them. This makes him potentially vulnerable in the area of sex, emotionally, morally, ethically, aesthetically, and in every other significant direction.
7 Where the male is in conflict with the female and she therefore has destructive intentions towards him, she can use any or all of these areas to attack him. And it is her intuition which tells her which ones are most usable. She can sense where his greatest fears lie, where he feels most threatened, in which directions his defences are weakest, in what areas he is most subject to guilt, feelings of inferiority, uncertainty or inadequacy.
8 For example, if he has a basic groundwork of imposed morality, which already threatens to conflict with his sexual instincts, she can use that area to bring out and intensify his sense of guilt and shame. If he has existing but latent fears of impotence, she can bring them to the fore, and then realise them for him. Tne same applies to aesthetic standards, protests of dignity or masculinity. If they are there in any form and to any extent, either latent or active, she can sense them when passions are aroused, and work on them.
9 Just as the female retaliates to the male onslaught of logical - or illogical - torture, by introducing emotion if she can, the male reacts to the female onslaught of intuitive torture, by suppressing or elimi- nating emotion, again if he can. This is often a difficult task. Just as the female has difficulty in creating emotion when everything the male does is calculated to negate it and invalidate it, it is equally hard for the male to eliminate it when everything the female does is calculated to arouse it.
10 But he tries, when the pressure is too strong for him. And if he succeeds, he goes 'cold'. He buries his sexuality, or sublimates it in 'harmless' directions. He removes the feeling from the situation, he eliminates the projections, thereby dispossessing the female of her 'ammunition', and making the situation HIS territory instead of hers, so that he can retaliate with his intellect, which can operate now that the emotional 'wind' has died down. Then he can either start his own game of logicising the female round in circles, or, if he does not trust himself to be able to avoid being caught in another emotional maelstrom, he clams up and manifests no response at all.
11 When emotion has left the situation, the female loses her grasp of it. SHE has now lost HER advantage, and SHE becomes vulnerable.
12 The apparent anachronism of the female activity of sexual invitation on the one hand, followed or even accompanied by sexual rejection on the other, is explained by this requirement of hers for emotional intensity in order to have the advantage in a situation.
13 Sexuality is a prime emotional area. So the female naturally enough makes use of it as often and as extensively as she can. It is her territory, and she invites and attracts the male into it with every means at her disposal. Although her subsequent or simultaneous rejection of him in this area seems calculated to make him wish he had no sexuality at all and attempt to suppress or sublimate it, this is not conflict, but tactics. The female with destructive intentions towards the male, MUST keep him aroused in order to hold her advantage over him. She must effectively draw him in in order to be able effectively to push him out. Her rejection can only have a maximum impact in the wake of a successful invitation.
14 But although there is really no conflict here, the female is seldom fully conscious either of her motivations or of her strategy; therefore this particular strategy usually manifests as conflict, and the con- fusion which she very successfully sends out towards the male, through her ambivalent activity, returns, as it must, and confuses herself.
15 The male equivalent of this is to force upon the female a world of primarily intellectual values and criteria, to surround her with a structure that depends for its existence upon logical understanding and rational appreciation, rather than any kind of intuitive judgement. He imprisons the female, as far as he can, in a mechanical and sterile environment which negates emotion, an environment which is often very aptly described as 'soul-destroying', an environment which gives him and his intellect the maximum possible advantage. Then he shows her how inadequate she is to cope with her environment, how useless and incap- able, how inferior to himself, how helpless and therefore what a burden to him.
16 Whilst the female attempts to keep the male emotionally aroused with her sexual projections and machinations, and thereby keep the advantage on her side; the male attempts to keep the female emotionally exhausted with the sterile complexities of the social, economical and environ- mental structure which he builds around her, and thereby keep the advantage on HIS side.
17 And so it goes on; the battle between male and female. When there is a minimum of feeling the male has the upper hand, and the female bites her fingernails in frustration. When there is a maximum intensity of feeling, the female has the upper hand, and the male chews his lip, thwarted.
18 The female fights to maintain a high intensity of feeling, whilst the male struggles to reduce the intensity. The female validates emotion and promotes the value of intuition, whilst the male validates lack of emotion and promotes the value of intellect. And at the same time each seeks to do everything he or she can, to INvalidate the territory of the other.
6. 1 But that picture on its own, devious and complex though it is, and fraught with apparent conflicts and contradictions, is still too simple. On the other side of the coin altogether, in direct opposition to that agonising war of nerves, for which both sides are responsible and for which both sides suffer, both male and female have a real and genuine desire to make contact with one another in love and joy and mutual satisfaction.
2 The hatred is intense and ruthless on both sides, but so is the love. It is easier and more pleasint to look at the love, and we are inclined to pretend that the hatred is the exception. So the love works more on the surface, keeping the image as bright as it can, whilst the hatred works more BELOW the surface, and in reality has the greater effect of the two. Currently, on this side of the Game, it has the bias in its favour, as the evidence of the wider picture cannot fail to illustrate, however hard individuals attempt to whitewash their personal aspects of it.
3 Sometimes male and female DO come together in joy and mutual satis- faction. But such moments or incidents of fulfilment are few and far between. In a death-oriented world, conflict far outweighs harmony, and the occasional instances of joy are soured - despite the whitewash- ing - by an overall and overwhelming pattern of mutual antagonism and defensiveness.
7. 1 In the human world, where currently the male is dominant, where intellect is placed above intuition and lack of emotion given greater overall value than emotion, thought is more highly regarded than feel- ing of any kind, which tends to be viewed with various negative attitudes ranging from suspicion to contempt. Because of this bias, the male intuition is seidom put to the test, whereas the female intellect is continually being tested and found wanting, thus 'confirming', as far as the male is concerned. his own position of superiority, and intensifying the bias.
2 The intellect, instead of being used to balance and enhance the power of intuitive awareness, has been used to suppress and negate it.
3 As with every other pair of opposites, the ultimate aim is balance; a state in which neither intuition nor intellect take overall precedence, nor do they compete against one another for supremacy, but each finds its own place, its own function, its own validity, its own purpose, and its own territory of operation, and each works not to reduce and negate the other, but to complement and enhance the power and validity of the other.
4 The male can use his intellect to confuse and baffle the female; to exhaust her emotions, and then take advantage of her helplessness to put her down. But equally he can use it to clarify things for her, to explain what she does not understand because she has no feelings to guide her. He can use it to illustrate the positive aspects of the situation towards which she only has negative attitudes. He can use it to validate her when her own emotions - or worse still emotionless- ness - tell her that she has no validity. He can use it to guide her attention towards areas where she can rediscover her feelings when she has lost them.
5 The female can use her intuition to castrate and emasculate the male; to arouse his emotions, and then take advantage of HIS helplessness to put HIM down. But equally she can use it to lift him up, to give him confidence, to validate him when he feels invalid, to make it all right for him to feel what he feels, to lead him through his emotions on a positive line, to help him to see the good in himself when all he can see is evil. She can use it particularly in the area of sexuality, where he is in many ways most helpless, to enhance this most basic form of contact between male and female, to bring out the joy of it, to intensify the positive emotions involved in it, to eliminate the lurking fear and guilt, which are so ready to move in and destroy all positive feeling at the first sign of invalidation.
6 In both cases, a possible trap when pursuing an elusive positive attitude, is condescension; tolerance of the superior for the inferior. Validation, which is what is required here, has nothing to do with this kind of attitude, which is one of the most destructive of all.
7 Condescension is a killer; a sweet, soft, subtle, killer. The male who 'tolerates' the female's deficiency of intellectual ability, puts her down as effectively, if not more effectively, than if he openly scorned her for it.
8 Remember that we only have a limited capacity for discovery and learn- ing. Therefore a smaller intellect quota allows for a greater intui- tion quota, and vice versa. In order to validate genuinely we must recognise the positive value of an apparent deficiency, not simply tolerate it.
9 And the female who 'tolerates' the male's lack of ability to judge intuitively and thereby control emotional situations with the same degree of success as herself, she in her turn puts HIM down with her attitude. Only through this deficiency is his intellect as powerful as it is.
10 And in the area of sexuality, nothing is more castrating to the male than the female's tolerance of his strong and unrelenting sexual drive. Only a truly felt recognition of the positive value of that drive, and an equally truly felt positive response to it, amounts to validation.
11 In this context, the female could bear in mind that firstly, it is the male's intense and irrepressible sexuality which gives her the material she requires for creating the powerful bonds of contact which it is her function to create; secondly, it provides the basis for the continued genetic survival of the race; thirdly, because of its emotional intensity, it contributes more to her own territory of dominance than anything else; and lastly, it is the most powerful healing force in the world.
12 But equally, do not forget that nothing is ever gained by either male or female attempting to force any of these positive attitudes onto him - or herself. The requirement is simply to become aware, not to be deceived by our own attitudes, to know what they mean, what they signify, and the effects which they are calculated to create. That knowledge, when it is fully owned and absorbed, will itself create the attitudes which will give us what we desire.
8. 1 Also, in the highly charged and sensitive area of sexuality, it would be wrong to suppose that all the onus of responsibility is on the female side.
2 First of all, as has been said, none of us is either all male or all female. Even the most masculine male has an aspect of femininity in him. And even the most feminine female has her share of mascuiinity. And this serves two purposes. It means that the male can take some part of the female's role, and thereby help her in her task. But it also means that both, through the aspect of the other which is within themselves, can reach out and identify with what the other feels. That alone can form a powerful basic link of mutual understanding.
3 Also, although the function of the female is indeed to play the leading role, the male function - in this case to follow and RESPOND - is of equal importance.
4 (What an inversion of the accepted human pattern! Although even in the face of that pattern, many people know that it is not after all the male who leads the female in the area of sex, but the female who leads whilst the male follows.)
5 The female may lead, but if the male refuses to respond, or responds negatively, despite every effort on her part to validate or reassure him, there is little more she can do. He must play his part.
6 But in general the male is willing to respond. If the female is willing to give him validation and control where sexuality is concerned, if she is willing to use her talents and capabilities, if she is not afraid of the responsibility of leading, and if she does not feel threatened by the possibility of him being unfaithful to her, his response is strong and positive.
7 The male's sexuality is fundamental. It has little regard for social ethics or moral customs, or for the delicate qualms and fears of rejec- tion of the insecure female. If the female fights against this basic factor of the male personality, he is likely to respond by protesting its existence. She resists, he protests. And very often the instinc- tive form of protest is to act where he would have been content simply to feel, and perhaps fantasise a little.
8 Such action could take the form of either inappropriate sexual advances TOWARDS her, or indiscriminate sexual activity AWAY from her, whichever of the two she is resisting.
9 Paradoxically - but in tune with the consequences of all resistance - the female who has a negative attitude towards the sexua1ity of the male; fear, disapproval, suspicion, outrage, mistrust, distaste, con- tempt, ridicule, horror, panic, dismay, indifference, self-pity, despair or disappointment; stands a fair chance of watching him enact that sexuality in the way that is least acceptable to her.
10 And if the possible consequences of that are too severe a threat to HIM, then the male either suppresses his sexuality and makes himself as in- sensitive as possible to ALL sexual stimulus, and if necessary wages war on sexuality in general in order to reinforce this standpoint - a tragic outcome which scarcely gives satisfaction to the female who helped to bring it about; or if that is not possible, if his instincts are too powerful, he becomes neurotic and frustrated. And the possi- ble end results of that state are too numerous to recount, but can easily be imagined.
9. 1 The attitudes which bring about these kind of situations are seldom openly malicious. The war between male and female is not always waged in terms of outward antagonism. It is more often a defensive war of fear and uncertainty on both sides.
2 The male seldom sets out consciously and deliberately to confuse and intellectually subjugate the female. Usually he does so from a sense of his own inadequacy, which makes him proud, or aloof, or defensive, or pompous, or cynical, or cold, or argumentative, or hypercritical, or insensitive, or suppressed.
3 Tne female seldom castrates the male from a standpoint of sadistic glee. More often she does it from a standpoint of nervous insecurity, which makes her self-righteous, or frigid, or afraid of physical con- tact, or prudish, or pious, or jealous, or irritable.
4 Usually they would both dearly love to establish a warm and loving contact with the other, but fear has blinded them. They cannot see how to go about it, and they do not understand why the results of their efforts are so negative. And those results are often even worse and more miserable than if the two of them had declared open war and came outfighting.
5 When the intentions seem to be good, but the results are bad, there is not even hope to be found in a resolution to reform.
6 And so much can be resolved by the female recognising the extent of her power in the area of sex.
7 A male can go out and set the world in order; that is the ultimate extent of his scope, and in that area the female is no match for him. But the female can conquer the blocks and the barriers between her- self and the male, and make almost anything she wants of the rela- tionship between them. That is the extent of HER scope; narrow in practical and worldly terms, but limitless in its depth and in the reach of its effects.
8 Just as in the area of expansion outwards, the initiative is on the side of the male, because the level of emotional intensity is low in that area, so in the area of contact within, the initiative is on the side of the female.
9 She can move into the territory of personal contact, and allow herself to feel the intensity of emotion which lies there. Then her intuitive awareness can go to work. She can feel the right direction in which to move; she can feel the pulse of the contact, and she can know instinctively what pressures are required where, she can sense the quality of the contact, its weaknesses and its strengths, its points of vulnerability and what is required to strengthen them; and she can lead and guide and direct all those on the other side who are willing themselves to enter that territory of high intensity, and follow her.
10. 1 And herein lies another aspect of the potential balance between male and female. The male element is dominant outside, which relates it to the receptive physical principle. The female element is dominant within, which relates it to the creative spiritual principle.
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2 Hence the personal relationship between the two, is controlled by the female, just as the relationship between soul and body is controlled by the soul. It is the soul which creates or uncreates the mental barriers which separate soul and body. Similarly it is the female who creates or uncreates the contact barriers which separate male and female.
3 As with the soul and the body, when there is conflict between the two, each attempts to prove itself self-sufficient, and in fact better off without the other, and therefore sets out to negate the importance of, or in the extreme, destroy the other. But also, as with the soul and the body, neither can meaningfully exist without the other. Without the male to express outwardly the quality and nature of his relation- ship with her, the female's existence has no purpose or significance. Equally, without the female to inspire him and make his endeavours worthwhile, the male's existence has no impetus or drive.
4 AS LONG AS THERE IS CONFLICT BETWEEN MALE AND FEMALE, THE MALE EXPRESSES THAT CONFLICT IN THE WORLD OUTSIDE. WHEN THERE IS HARMONY BETWEEN THEM, HE EXPRESSES THAT HARMONY.
5 When men and women are alienated from one another, men in general are alienated from one another. When men and women are in contact, men are in contact. The nature of any civilisation stems from the nature of its sexual relationships. And it is the female element which holds the reins in that area.
6 But remember, once again, none of us is all male or all female, just as none of us is all soul or all body. And harmony between male and female must have its beginnings within the individual. The biological males cannot wait for the biological females to act or to change. The change must begin within each one of us. Besides, although it is the female element which controls and therefore has the power to change, the initial move towards change can be made by the male element.
7 We cannot change ourselves directly by purely intellectual knowledge, because it is not enough to know the truth with our outer conscious- ness, we must FEEL it with our awareness. Then we can change. But we can BEGIN with intellectual knowledge. We can use our outer consciousness to direct our awareness. We can receive the knowledge with our outer consciousness, then, through our experience in relation to that knowledge, we can absorb it, own it, FEEL it, and thereby become truly AWARE of it. Then we can change.
8 The female element has the power to bring about change, but the male element has the ability to lead the female into the areas of know- ledge and experience where her intuition can most validly and productively function.
9 It is as though the female is blind and the male is deaf. In conflict and in competition, each promotes the sense in which the other is deficient, and attempts to reduce the other on the basis of that deficiency. But in harmony, the maie is the eyes of the partnership, whilst the female is the ears.
10 Now the secret of change and fulfilment is a spoken word. Only the female can hear it, which is why she alone of the two holds the key to such change. Her intuitive awareness corresponds with her ears, which can hear the spoken truth.
11 But the female may be far from the source of that spoken truth, so that she can hear nothing. And although the source is quite visible to the naked eye, she is blind, so she cannot see it and therefore go within hearing distance of it.
12 The male on the other hand can see the source of the spoken truth. His intellect corresponds with his eyes, which can span a wide range of territory, relating the various things he sees to one another and cal- culating thereby the facts of the situation. So he knows where the source is, and he can go to it; but he is deaf, and therefore cannot hear what it says.
13 When male and female are alienated from one another, he keeps going to the source and listening in vain, she wanders about peering, equally in vain, to find the source; frustration and despair on both sides.
14 But when male and female cooperate with one another, then their way is simple. He with his eyes, representing his intellect, leads her to the source. She listens with her ears, representing her intuition, and hears the spoken truth. Then she in her turn, using her touch and any visual signals which he can see and interpret, guides him according to what she now knows, towards their mutual fulfilment.
15 That is a simple and-rather idyllic analogy. But it illustrates a potential basic pattern. The female has the power of intuitive aware- ness, which is the doorway to fulfilment. But the male, through his power of intellectual analysis, can lead the female into the areas where her awareness will tell her what she needs to know for the door to open. And it is no coincidence that Jehovah is blind and Lucifer is deaf.
11. 1 And within the individual, the male element, the intellect, can be used to lead the female element, the intuition, into areas of such relevance and significance as to give the intuition the scope it requires for expanding the awareness of the individual.
2 Emotion is essential for awareness, but without thought to guide us, emotion can be indiscriminate, and can take control of US, rather than US being in control of IT. Then it not only does not help our aware- ness, but it actively blocks it.
3 Thought therefore can lead towards awareness, as well as away from it.
4 Just as when male and female are in conflict and the male is dominant, thought is used to suppress awareness, so when male and female are in harmony and each balances the other, thought can be used to bring about awareness.
5 To be practical; one way in which the male can lead the female towards the realisation of her power of intuitive awareness, is by validating that power; by giving it the recognition which is due to it, by show- ing the female the extent and nature of her capabilities, by not demanding or expecting that she possess intellectual powers to com- pare with his own, and of course not using the fact that she does not, to reduce or humiliate her.
6 The male, with his intellect, has the capacity to recognise and under- stand the female's areas of power, dominance and validity, and also her need for his openness and willingness to respond in order to be effective in those areas. He has a choice; either to try to prevent her from being effective or to help her to be effective. If he is afraid of her domination of him, or clinging desparately to his domination of her, he tries to prevent her; whereas if he can recognise the potential balance and harmony between them, without overall domination on either side, he can rise above the fear and desperation, and help her.
7 The female, with her intuition, has the capacity to recognise and under- stand the MALE'S areas of power, dominance and validity, and also his need for her contact and validation in order to be effective in those areas. She too has a choice; either to deny his needs or to meet them. If she is intent on driving him down and reducing his strength and confidence, she denies them; whereas if she is intent upon building him up and adding to his strength and confidence, she meets them.
8 If the male keeps the female away from her area of dominance, he reduces her power to drive him down, but equally he reduces her power to build him up. If the female deliberately undermines the male's con- fidence, she prevents him from dominating her, but equally she prevents him from validating her with his response and his outward expression of their relationship.
9 So the onus is on both sides. But each has a different and distinct way of helping to bring about a change from conflict to harmony. The male can indicate the female's area of dominance and allow her to lead in that area. The female can be willing to lead the male positively and with validation in that area, and at the same time allow him full scope and leadership in HIS area of dominance.
10 If there is love within, there is love without. If the male allows her to, the female can create the love within, and if she is willing to do so, then the male will automatically reflect that love without.
11 Such knowledge in the hearts of all mankind would change the face of the whole world.
So be it.
[ Signature ]
September 1973 ROBERT DE GRH"STON
THIS MATERIAL IS THE PROPERTY OF THE PROCESS
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