BI THIRTY TWO
THE PROCESS OMEGA
CHURCH OF THE FINAL JUDGEMENT Wednesday 10th November 1971 revised September 1973
Brethren, As it is,
1. 1 As we know from BI 31, everything is based on reflections, and all of us are mirrors identified with the images which we reflect. Emotions and attitudes are no exception to this rule. We do not originate our emotions or our attitudes. We reflect them from one another.
2 If I feel sad, that sadness comes from something or someone outside of me. If I feel joyful, the joy is not mine; it comes from elsewhere.
3 It does not matter in this context where these feelings FIRST manifested - SOMETHING or SOMEONE must have originated them, but that is not rele- vant to here and now, in time; what matters is that here and now, in time, I have received them and reflected them; I have not myself created them.
4 In isolation - REAL isolation - we feel nothing. We are mirrors, there- fore, in order to feel , we must reflect an image, identify with that image, and then we can feel as that image feels.
5 One tenent of the New Game is the recognition that those around us reflect us, that what we see in others is OURSELVES. Therefore: 'IF WE CAN TRULY SEE ONE ANOTHER, NOT AS SEPARATE ISOLATED INDIVIDUALS, BUT AS MIRRORS OF OURSELVES, THEN WE CANNOT BECOME TRAPPED IN THE CYCLE OF BLAME.' (B1 17.1,15)
6 But there is another complementary step which completes this, and gives us our next move in the conquest of blame.
7 Others reflect us; that is important to realise. But equally important to realise is the fact that WE reflect THEM as well.
8 We desire unity. And yet we find ourselves with negative attitudes towards one another, which can only form a block to unity - AS LONG AS WE CONTINUE TO ATTRIBUTE THOSE ATTITUDES TO OURSELVES!
9 Now if we feel the attitudes, to that extent we are responsible for them. Evil belongs where it manifests. It is no error, nor is it a 'sin' against us that we feel them. They are ours to the extent that we have chosen to feel them. BUT, the secret here is to recognise that we did not ourselves create them. Our choice was not to originate them, but to RECEIVE them. They are not objects, but REFLECTED IMAGES.
10 As long as we see ourselves as creators and originators of such feelings and attitudes, we can only turn in upon ourselves in order to find the source of them. And to a painful and limited extent we find some valid answers. But they are answers, not to why we have CREATED those feelings, but why we have REFLECTED them.
11 Within the limits of the Game, the choice is ours (illusion though it may be on an ultimate level) but it is a choice to reflect not a choice to create.
12 And in the New Game, with this knowledge, instead of looking inwards and embarking on an uncomfortable journey of self-investigation, we can take another far less painful and ultimately more constructive path. Instead of looking behind a negative attitude for 'why', we can look outwards and away from ourselves for 'WHENCE'; no longer 'Why am I feeling this?' but 'from where am I receiving this?'
13 Now when it comes to feelings, the principle of reflection is total. EVERYTHING is reflected, NOTHING is created, as far as we are con- cerned in the here and now. But the area of feeling which is most vital to the requirements of the New Game, and also the area in which this knowledge can be most easily and effectively applied, is OUR FEELINGS TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE. So that is where we shall begin.
2. 1 The basic principle is simple. If A has an emotional attitude towards B, whether positive or negative, that attitude is coming from B him- self.
2 Now it's the NEGATIVE emotional attitudes which constitute the problem. The positive ones are in tune with the New Game; we can enjoy them, validate them, enact them, express them, and thereby make good use of them. But they need no special handling, On the other hand the nega- tive ones do need special handling, so it's them we shall consider here.
3 Let us suppose A feels a strong dislike towards B. That is because B feels a strong dislike towards himself - consciously or unconsciously - and he projects that feeling outwards for anyone to receive and reflect who chooses to do so. For reasons of his own, which are not important in this context, A chooses to do so, and finds himself disliking B. He has not created the dislike, he has received and reflected it.
4 And a feeling can be more precise than general dislike. Disgust, horror, contempt, pity, mistrust, confusion, hatred, fear; all feelings, emotions, attitudes, which can be felt in direct relation to a particular person, and which indicate that that person feels them in direct relation to himself.
5 The feeling between A and B can be mutual. The principle is still the same. A despises B because B despises himself. B despises A because A despises himself.
6 Every emotional attitude we have towards a person, we receive from that person. Of that we can be sure. From where he has received it need not concern us at this stage, any more than the reasons why we have taken it from him. Our first and most important concern is the simple fact that WE received it from HIM; we did not originate it.
3. 1 In the Old Game, the important aspect of our responsibility when we felt negative towards another person, was what our own hostility or failure had been to cause such a feeling; a responsibility in the past. In the New Game the important aspect of our responsibility is what we do with that feeling in the immediate future.
2 Both principles are valid in their own context. In the past a recognition and acknowledgement of what we have done or failed to do, which leads us to reflect and identify with a particular person's negative attitudes towards himself, and in the future an intention to make meaningful amends for whatever it is we have done or failed to do by using the reflection and identification to constructive ends.
3 Those constructive ends we shall come to in a while, but the first and vital move, which takes precedence over all else in this New Game forward looking principle, is right in time. It is a recognition of what is, not what was or what will be, but what is, NOW! The first move is an altogether 'in time' awareness. And that in time awareness is the knowledge that any negative feeling which we have towards another person is something we are receiving, right now, from that person, and reflecting, right now, back to him.
4 The vital reality of what is, in this situation, is that we are not initiating, we are reflecting.
5 And to recognise this vital reality, to be aware of it, is to "EXTERNALISE".
6 Instead of looking inwards to discover why we 'feel as we feel, we look outwards. We look for where our feelings are coming FROM. We look for. the 'cause' and the source OUTSIDE as opposed to inside ourselves.
7 If A finds himself regarding B with distaste, then instead of internalising and asking himself why he should feel that way about B: What has he (A) done? What has he failed to do? he EXTFRNALISES, and without 'flaying to ask himself he KNOWS why he feels that way about B; because B feels that way about himself, B regards HIMSELF with distaste. With B it may be an unconscious feeling, but it's there nonetheless and very real.
8 Now in a state of irresponsibility, the average human being looks outwards for the source of his negative feelings towards others, but on a different level entirely, and without the essential knowledge of reflections. He looks for a JUSTIFICATION of his feelings, and thereby, whether he knows it or not, a means of REINFORCING them.
9 For example, A finds himself disliking B. Without even the Old Game principle of past responsibility to guide him, instead of looking for his own hostilities and failures as the relevant inward source of his dislike, he looks at B's hostilities and failures - or some other apparently 'wrong' manifestation in B - in order to rationalise and thereby justify his dislike. He tells himself that the reason he dislikes B is because B is stupid, or vicious, or pompous, or self-righteous, or dishonest, or mean, or cruel, or insensitive, or ... (In fact, the rationalisation usually comes so hard on the heels of the negative attitude that by the time the attitude is fully conscious the rationalisation is already in place. All A is aware of is that he dislikes B because B is ... His consciousness missed the swift unearthing of a suitable label to pin upon an already felt emotion).
10 Now like all justifications, the label may be factual. B may well manifest whichever of the above characteristics A ascribes to him. BUT IT IS NOT THE CAUSE OR THE SOURCE OF A'S DISLIKE. IT IS THE JUSTIFICATION HE USES TO MAINTAIN HIS DISLIKE.
11 This kind of irresponsible looking outwards for the source - which we all of us still do from time to time - gives us 'reasons' for continuing to harbour and express our negative feelings towards one another. We even tell ourselves sometimes, when we are in the throes of such feelings, that it is our duty to point out one another's faults and failings. But when we realise that our own most significant failings are our negative attitudes to one another, we must equally realise that this is a classic example of 'motes and beams'!
12 But more important, this is NOT externalising. Externalising leads towards LIFTING a negative attitude, not justifying and thereby reinforcing it.
13 Rationalising puts the supposed cause of a negative feeling outside our control, so that we can continue to harbour it apparently without choice. Externalising on the other hand acknowledges the source of a negative feeling as being outside us, so that we no longer NEED to harbour it, because of the realisation that its roots are elsewhere.
14 'I cannot stop disliking X, because he is so ...' becomes 'I CAN stop disliking X, because the dislike is not mine but his!'
4. 1 But although the feelings that we have towards one another are not our own but one another's there has to be a reason why we receive and reflect them; and by this I mean not a negative reason from the past, but a positive reason for the future; a purpose rather than a cause.
2 Not everyone feels exactly the same way about a particular person at a particular moment. For just as each of us has his separate and different role to play in the overall Game, so each of us has his separate and different role to play in relation to a particular person. For each human being has many diverse and often conflicting attitudes to himself, although he is quite unconscious of most of them. And one person's function may be to reflect back to him a specific positive attitude, whilst another's is to reflect a specific negative attitude.
3 According to our own Karma, we reflect the emotional com- ponent parts of one another. And the purpose of it is 'contact'. We do it in order to make contact with one another.
4 A mirror makes contact with an object by reflecting it and identifying with the reflection.
5 I make contact with you by feeling towards you what you feel towards yourself and identifying with that feeling.
6 I know a part of you by what I feel towards you.
7 I identify with you by feeling what you feel.
8 This is contact.
9 Now with the knowledge of reflections, and the ability to externalise my feelings through that knowledge, if I have negative feelings towards you, instead of blindly identifying with them and enacting them, I can use them to understand something about you which makes you suffer and thereby put myself in a position to help you.
10 If I externalise, I myself can become free of the negative feelings, and then I can help you to become free of them, BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT YOU FEEL.
11 If I internalise and ask myself about myself, it's a beginning, because at least I shan't help you to solidify your own feel- ings, but equally I shan't help you to lift them. If I justify and rationalise, and tell myself that I have good reason to feel negative towards you, I shall maintain and reinforce my own feelings, and thereby, through expressing or at best projecting them, I shall help to maintain and reinforce yours.
12 But if I externalise, I can first of all lift the feelings from myself - they are not mine and therefore I have no need to harbour them - and then, through positive contact with you, I can help you to lift them from YOURself.
5. 1 It sounds easy. It sounds as though as soon as we realise that a feeling comes from someone other than ourselves, we can magi- cally detach from that feeling. And if we are talking about a TOTAL realisation, in a very ultimate sense of the word, that is surely how it would be. But we have not yet reached that stage of the Game.
2 At this stage we are talking about the BEGINNINGS of a realisation, which means the BEGINNINGS of detachment.
3 Our realisation must begin with the intellect; a simple conscious understanding of the basic principle that whatever we feel towards someone we are only reflecting what he feels towards himself.
4 Like all knowledge received from without, this simple understanding will take time to penetrate below the level of consciousness, and to displace a very solid agreement that any feeling we have is ours and ours alone, and the only thing we are willing - all too ready - to place outside ourselves is the BLAME for that feeling if it is negative!
5 So don't expect at this time the initial recognition to wipe away the feeling in an instant. It may, because it has the capacity, but equally it may not. Let it first give a greater sense of cause and control over the feeling. Let it prevent you from reinforcing the feeling. Let it disarm you from indulging it. Let it tell you that because the feeling itself is not ROOTED in you, you have that much greater control of it, and it has that much less control of you. Let it expose any rationalisations which have entered your view of the situation.
6 The purpose of the recognition, the purpose of externalising a negative attitude, is to give you the strength of awareness which you need to lay that attitude on one side, to detach from it, to rise above it, no longer to feel it, But that is by no means always easy.
7 To externalise is the first step. It involves the recognition itself. The next step is detachment ON THE STRENGTH OF THE RECOGNITION.
8 In emotionally unintense situations or relationships, detach- ment is possible on the basis of a relatively weak recognition. The feelings are not very intense - meaning either that the source of them is itself mild, or that the reflection is only a dim one, as with a fairly remote relationship. Therefore if the outer consciousness has grasped the basic principles, even on its most superficial levels, then the recognition involved in externalising may be strong enough to enable us to detach from the feelings. SOME will power may be required to keep the knowledge there and prevent the feelings sliding back and being rationalised, but not a great deal.
9 But at the other end of the scale, in a very emotionally intense situation or relationship, it is not so easy. Our reflection of the feelings of someone close to us, for example, is intense, both positive and negative. (This is the very nature of closeness in these terms). And when the feelings are negative, when we tune in to a deep and powerful self-hatred and reflect it back, then our recognition has to be a deep conviction, our externalis- ing has to be extremely real to us, to give us the will to detach.
10 We are dealing here not with mild attitudes but driving emotions. If you manifest hatred towards another person and you identify with that feeling, as you must in order truly to feel it, then your instincts are powerful and destructive. To lay that feeling on one side, to detach yourself from Its vicious urges, and set out to lift that person's own SELF-hatred goes directly against those instincts!
11 The instincts tell you to express the hatred, to rationalise it and thereby reinforce it, to inflict damage on the person towards whom you feel it. Your knowledge of its source must be strong Indeed to disarm those intentions and to emerge with a positive outcome.
12 If A hates B and there is no awareness, then the last thing A wants to do is to lessen any self-hatred that B might have. On the contrary his instincts are to INCREASE it. If he can show B what a terrible person B is, what a failure he is, what a throughly nasty and unpleasant character he is, and really convince him of It, THAT he feels will give him intense satisfaction.
13 So when the feelings are really intense, the task can be a difficult one.
14 We can even convince ourselves that we have made it when we haven't. But the effects will tell us soon enough if we watch for them.
15 For example, indifference can sometimes feel like detachment. But when we begin to act from a standpoint of indifference, we can quickly see from the effects we are creating that the negative attitude is still operative in us.
16 Two people in a close relationship can often cycle down- wards in a Spiral of increasingly negative attitudes towards one another. It begins (say) with each reflecting and identi- fying with the other's self-dislike, but through rationalisation and therefore reinforcement of the feelings, each gives himself cause to identify with a more negative attitude in the other, (say) self-contempt. So each is heavily despising the other. That is reinforced, and they both move on to reflecting one another's self-hatred. And often, when THAT has reached its peak, the next step down is indifference.
17 Hatred is destructive, but it is a twisted form of validation. We hate ourselves because we are 'bad', 'evil', 'nasty', etc. But indifference is infinitely more destructive. We are in- different to ourselves because we are 'nothing'.
18 So beware of mistaking indifference for detachment. If it catches you, it will probably do so on the tail end of some very intense negative attitudes, from which you think you are becoming detached. But just watch the effects, in relation to you, on the person from whose feelings you thought you had detached.
19 For example, you feel intense dislike towards X. You externalise, but the feeling is very powerful and it's not easy to lay it aside. You so much want to tell X that, he is a thoroughly unpleasant person. So you go through a few cerebral contortions, and you find that you don't feel anything towards X at all. Aha, you think to yourself, detachment. And you make some moves towards X on the basis of this apparent detachment, and X goes down like a stone.
20 Unless you pick it up at that point things can get very much worse. You find yourself disliking him again, and your instantaneous rationalisation is that despite your detachment - attitudelessness! - he collapsed. There must be something wrong with him. True; that, was where we began this story. Your dislike, indicating his self-dislike. But, if there had been detachment, the 'wrong' might have been 'righted'. The fact that it got more wrong than ever spells indifference.
21 But don't castigate yourself for falling into this particular trap. Which of us doesn't from time to time? Indifference is a powerful weapon, both from within and from without. If we were a hundred percent proof against it in either direction, we would already have mastered the New Game.
22 And there is another possible, though far less dangerous, trap to be considered when we begin the art of externalizing. We may easily be tempted to use the externalisation itself as a rationalisation. When the recognition is still not deep enough to make detachment from the attitude immediately possible; we might sometimes feel like saying to ourselves: 'Well I only dislike him because he dislikes himself. So the fault is his!' A sadly ironical misuse of the knowledge, but so easy to do in the grip of intense negativity.
23 And sometimes it's this very rationalisation, slipped in almost unwittingly, that can lead to the state of indifference described earlier.
6. 1 So when you externalise, bear in mind the possible pitfalls, and don't assume that it will always be easy. And particularly don't expect instant success in close relationships. Otherwise you are inviting a sense of failure; a feeling that everyone else can do it, but you cannot. And that will be no help to you.
2 But on the other hand, have faith in the basic principle and its workability.
3 As with everything, there is a Beginning, a Task and a Fulfill- ment. The Beginning is a long way from the Fulfillment, but it is nevertheless a beginning. And the Task is a direct and inexorable route TOWARDS the Fulfillment.
4 If you can externalise and successfully detach from your neaa- tive feelings towards a person or a group of people once, you can do it again, and again, and again. If you can produce a positive outcome from an initially negative attitude, by externalising and detaching, once, you can do it again, and again, and again.
5 Apply the lessons you have already learned to this knowledge, and there need be no sense of failure or futility.
6 Aim as high as possible, but accept whatever manifests. Don't RESIST the negativity; accept it, 'own' it - not inasmuch as you have created it, but inasmuch as you have chosen to receive and reflect it - and then eliminate it, or override it, or rise above it, And if a sense of failure or futility arises, treat that in the same way.
7. 1 Having tackled the possible pitfalls - including that of descend- ing into a sense of failure if and when we fall into them! - let's go back to the true purpose of externalising.
2 Initially, of course, it is to give us the strength to de- tach from or above the negative feelings which we reflect. But if we stop at that point, then there has been no purpose in our original reflection of the negative feel- ings, which we have already established as a means of making contact, and by direct experience gaining an understanding of a person's feelings towards himself.
3 So by reflecting and identifying, we make contact and gain understanding. Then by externalizing and detaching, we put our- selves in a position to USE that contact and understanding help- fully towards the person concerned.
4 It is his negative feelings towards himself that harms a person. It is these feelings that prompt him to send our destructive effects, which must return to him.
5 It is his negative feelings towards himself which we have reflected and thereby understood.
6 It is his negative feeling towards himself which we have externalised and then laid on one side by our detachment.
7 It is his negative feelings towards himself which we are then in a position to lift from his shoulders. And if these are what harm him, then we are in a position to heal him.
8 THE PURPOSE OF EXTERNALISING IS TO HEAL.
8. 1 Once we have taken the first step of externalising our negative attitude and seeing it as someone else's negative attitude towards himself, we know, in terms of healing, precisely with what we are dealing; a sense of failure, a sense of personal invalidity.
2 BI 26.2.7 states: "The healer must know the extent of the sense of failure which a person feels, even better than he knows it himself if possible, ..." What better way to know it than to have felt it? And what more positive reason - if we will make use of it - for our negative attitudes to one another - or rather our reflection of one another's negative attitudes to themselves?
3 But what then?
4 "The person being healed must feel that the healer can see into the murky depths of his 'invalid' be and YET validates him." (BI 26.2.5)
5 Therefore, if we are to heal, we must not only externalise our nega- tive attitudes, by a conscious recognition of their sources, but we must also lay them aside, detach from them, and penetrate beyond them until we can tune into and reflect a POSITIVE attitude; a sense of VALIDITY.
6 Its there. Just as behind a superficial protest of self-love there is a deeper and more powerful self-hatred, so behind that there is an even deeper and more basic opposite of real self-love - love of the GOD-self as opposed to compulsive love/hatred of the human self.
7 So when we lay aside the negative attitude, we can expose and identify with a deeper positive attitude. That alone is validation. That alone is healing. Because if we then maintain THAT attitude, we reinforce it in the person from whom we are receiving it, just as much as maintaining a negative attitude reinforces that We help the person to build up his true sense of validity and to 'starve', through non- identification, his sense of invalidity.
8 But we can go even further. WE have laid aside his sense of invalidity. But for him to do the same is not so easy. We certainly help him by our genuine positive attitude, but we can help him even further.
9 We know, because we have actually felt it, the nature of his sense of invalidity. We know the precise emotion which he feels, consciously or unconsciously towards himself, because we have felt that emotion towards him.
9. 1 Now we must be careful not to confuse the attitude which we reflected, with any labels - rationalisations - we may have pinned on that atti- tude so fast that we were not aware of doing it.
2 And the rule is: we only reflect EMOTIONS. We only reflect FEELINGS.
3 We can receive, through subliminal contact, all kinds of unconscious agreements and rationalizations. The mind, even below the level of consciousness is crammed full of labels, justifications, analytical concepts which are linked to emotional drives. And we can tune in to these telepathically. But they are as relevant to the actual FEELINGS which we reflect and with which we identify, as are our own rationali- sations of those feelings.
4 Only the feelings themselves have the power to drive us. The rest, if it is given credence, can help to maintain the power, but it has no power of its own. It only serves to confuse and solidify.
5 So any labels on the basic ATTITUDES which we reflected, may be regarded as rationalisation, and can be discounted, Whether we have picked them up subliminally from the other person or dug them out of our own store of unconscious agreements, does not matter. If they are not them- selves emotions they can be discounted, and for the best results they MUST be discounted.
6 When externalising, it's important that we eliminate every rationalisation from the scene. Otherwise we can block our own passage to the underlying positive attitudes with a seemingly insur- mountable barrier.
7 For example; supposing A finds himself feeling contemptuous of B. Step one: A recognises that the feeling comes to him from B. B feels contemptuous of himself. Step two: A lays his own feeling of contempt aside, and probes deeper for a positive attitude with which to identify. BUT, if A has allowed a rationalisation to creep in and attach itself to the basic attitude of contempt, such as, the contempt is due to B's incompetence in a particular function, and he gives that rationali- sation credence as an inseparable part of the attitude, then he will find 'step two' a great deal harder to take.
8 Whether the agreement is his own or something he has picked up subliminally from B is irrelevant. Whether B is or is not incompetent is also irrelevant. The emotion and the incompetence (real or imaginary) are NOT inextricably linked.
9 The rationalisation goes as follows. 'B is incompetent. Being incom- petent is contemptible. THAT is why B is contemptible.' Therefore A, by giving credence to his (or B's) rationalisation, comes up against an apparently insurmountable barrier. 'As long as B is incompetent, I am bound to feel contempt for him.' And of course as long as he tells himself that and believes it, and as long as B agrees with him, neither of them will make any move towards 'curing' B of his incompetence (or if the incompetence is imaginary, of dispelling the image of B's incompetence). Also, of course, the contempt and the self-contempt remain.
10 Even if A gets as far as laying aside the contemptuous attitude, unless he separates it from the supposed cause, i.e. the image of incompetence, he still tells himself: 'As long as B is incompetent he is bound to feel contempt towards himself.' Again, if he believes that and helps B to believe it also, the self-contempt and the image of incompetence will remain.
11 The image of incompetence, whether true or false, is a rationali- sation calculated to give substance to the emotion of contempt. And if it is given credence as being inevitably contemptible, it will do just that.
12 Also if a rationalisation is given credence, IT tends to become the problem, rather than the pure emotional attitude. And the trouble with that is, where we do have immediate control over our emotions (sometimes it doesn't seem like it, but we do), we do NOT have immediate control over our rationalisations, which is why we use them to rigidify otherwise malleable feelings. So that instead of controlling an emotion, we set about RESISTING a rationalisation.
13 Instead of A detaching from B's self-contempt and then helping B to do the same, both set about resisting B's incompetence.
14 We have so convinced ourselves that the only way to change our emotions is to change our circumstances, that it is difficult to recapture the realisation that the reverse is true. The best way to solidify our emotions is to try to change our circumstances. Because we are so clever with rationalisations, that we quite deliberately pin the least changeable circumstances onto the most undesirable emotions!
15 Another example of letting a rationalisation creep in and block the progress, is if A dislikes B and adds the rationalisation 'because he's ugly'. A may set out with the best of intentions to externalise and heal, but if he tells himself that his initial 'attitude' is: 'I feel B is ugly', then he will come up against a barrier very fast.
16 That is not the attitude. That is a rationalisation for an attitude of dislike. It stems from an agreement that we must dislike what is ugly. A dislikes B and pins the ugliness label on his dislike in order to give it substance. Ugly is a description and a very relative one at that. it has nothing intrinsically to do with dislike, which is an unquestionably negative emotion.
17 Whether B has the same agreement or not is irrelevant. If A wishes to externalise, detach and heal, he must discount the ugliness as irrelevant and deal with the negative emotion. Otherwise he will find himself fixated on the need for B to change his looks before any healing can take place!
18 As soon as we pin an immediately or apparently or completely un- changeable 'cause' on a person's negative attitudes to himself, we block our own healing powers.
19 SO, WHEN WE FEEL AND EXTERNALISE THE FEELING, WE MUST, IF WE WANT TO MOVE ON FROM THAT POINT IN A POSITIVE DIRECTION, ENSURE THAT ALL RATIONALISATIONS, WHETHER INVENTED BY OURSELVES OR PICKED UP SUBLIMINALLY FROM THE OTHER PERSON, ARE SEPARATED FROM THE FEELING AND DISCOUNTED.
20 People do not hate themselves BECAUSE ... They are not disgusted with themselves, contemptuous of themselves, suspicious of themselves, resentful of themselves, etc. etc. BECAUSE ... The 'reasons' are pinned on the feelings in order to give them substance, credence, validity, meaning and duration.
21 Therefore, equally, we do not hate people BECAUSE ... We are not disgusted with people, contemptuous of people, suspicious of people, resentful of people, etc. etc. BECAUSE ... Our 'reasons' too are pinned on the feelings in order to give them substance, credence, validity, meaning and duration.
22 The only valid 'because' here, is one which can he used to do precisely the reverse with the feelings. 'BECAUSE THEY FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT THEMSELVES.'
23 And THAT, if we use it correctly, can lead us to one: externalise, the feeling away from ourselves, two: lay aside the feeling because we have no good reason for feeling it any longer, and three: replace it with a positive feeling.
10. 1 But do not DEMAND, immediately, such a precise, clean, clear cut, simple and unfailing pattern as that in every situation! That would be inviting a sense of failure.
2 Rationalisations will sometimes creep in and take up residence. Emotions will sometimes be too intense for our level of conviction to oust them, Indifference will occasionally deceive us into thinking we are detached.
3 But there is the Beginning; the simple recognition that what we feel towards a person is nothing more or less than what he feels towards himself, and that therefore we CAN, in principle, lay that feelina aside, because it's not ours, and replace it with another. (For there is no being in the Universe that has ONLY negative attitudes towards himself, so there is always a level of self-validation available SOMEWHERE with which we can identify.)
4 Then the Task is to remind ourselves of. this on every relevant occasion, to repeat it to ourselves, to relate it to our feelings towards other people; and also to practise as often as we can the laying aside of externalised negative attitudes, and replacing them with positive attitudes.
5 It is the laying aside part which is not always easy. Sometimes the urge to enact and indulge a negative attitude is stronger than the intention to detach from it. That's the Game, and we shall be disappointed if we expect otherwise! It will happen most often in our closer relationships, where the attitudes are most intense.
6 But what we can have there is at least a conscious recognition of what we are doing. And if we manage ,:at to regard it as a fearful and shameful transgression, but simpl as another hazard of the Game, then there is a good chance that that recognition won't be suppressed out of existence in order to avoid the shame!
7 And one other important aspect of the Task, which is usually essential for laying aside negative attitudes, is the discounting of our rationalisations. When we fine ourselves feeling a negative attitude, and tying a label to it which begins: 'Because ... ', we can at least keep in mind the basic krowledge that that label, the 'because ... ', is irrelevant, and does not truly belong with the attitude.
8 Now again, our urge to KEEP the label may be stronger than our intention to discard it. (If we want to keep the negative attitude and give vent to it, we shall almost certainly want to keep the rationalisation which gives it substance!) But, we can still also keep the voice which tells us that it's irrelevant, and we are ONLY giving it credence in order to reinforce and maintain the negative attitude.
9 There's a school of thought that regards a destructive act which is performed knowingly as 'worse' in terms of morality than one which is performed in ignorance. (A part of every one of us subscribes to this, incidentally, so don't feel bad about it). And this evaluation encourages us to be unaware of our negative activities. We feel that we can avoid a particularly painful area of shame if we 'know not what we do'.
10 But it's a fallacy. Destruction is destruction. Pain is pain. And if it goes out, it comes back; whether we are aware of it or not. The question of morality need not arise at all.
11 Now equally, just as ignorance has no alleviating effect on 'sin', awareness is no virtue. So don't take this as promotion of an OPPOSITE school of thought which reeds the ignorant action as more shameful than the knowing one. (A part of us subscribes to that as well, and it is no help!)
12 Awareness is an ASSET, a BLESSING, not a virtue. And it's always an asset.
13 So, for your own benefit, allow yourself to know what's happening when your compulsive reflection of another person's negative attitude towards himself defeats your intention to detach and reflect a positive attitude.
14 And don't be baffled by the fact that such knowledge sometimes completely fails to disarm you, and overriding intentions remain predominantly destructive. Don't be horrified that know- ing what you are doing doesn't always stop you wanting with an overwhelming intensity to do it.
15 That's the Game. And it's better - not morally, but beneficially - to know than not to know.
16 Knowledge has to go deep in order to give us REAL control. We are having it fed into us from the top, where it awakens its deeply rooted counterpart way down at the bottom. Slowly, trickle by trickle, the two ends approach one another.
17 But it takes time. The power is in the centre, and there, as yet, the knowledge is only a faint echo in the distance, but growing closer, clearer, louder, and more discernable with every passing minute.
11. 1 Sometimes I paint beautiful pictures of mindless perfection, visions of life-orientation; and although I intersperse them with emphatic assurances that we are not required to demand or expect of ourselves the immediate realisation of these ideals, that we are simply required to understand and absorb them, and move gradually step by step in their direction, yet we all do place that pressure on ourselves that this is how we should be NOW as Processeans.
2 The ideals obscure the assurances, which are then forgotten. And we begin to say to ourselves: 'How unworthy we are.' We cannot even begin to live up to these wonderful images! When truly nobody asked us to - except ourselves!
3 So this time, with externalising and the healing power which it has the capacity to bring out, let's at least try to give equal impor- tance to the assurances that WE SHALL SOMETIMES FAIL: AND THAT IS ALL RIGHT!
4 We are NOT expected, as from the moment we receive this knowledge, to lay aside every single negative attitude we have towards another person. THAT is the fulfillment. What we ARE expected to do, is work TOWARDS that fulfillment.
5 Meanwhile there is the Beginning; which is the knowledge itself, trickling in from above and-being echoed from deep down below. No problem. And there is the Task; which is not always easy and is bound to involve failure, but, unless we expect too much of ourselves, need not involve a SENSE of failure.
6 Externalising - like awareness - is not a virtue. It is a tool; a magickal tool, which we can use to heal ourselves by healing others.
7 We could make it a burden, by forcing its use upon ourselves and one another on threat of blame, shame and regret, and other dire consequences. But equally we can make it a great asset, by using it freely and willingly of our own volition in every appropriate situation.
8 The choice is ours - at least that's the way it FEELS, and that's what matters!
12. 1 So far, we have dealt with externalising only in relation to the feelings we have towards other people. Because that is the most important use of it, and leads most directly to healing. But it also applies to more isolated emotions; feelings which are intense, but are not specifically directed towards anybody.
2 Again, the relevant emotions here are negative ones, because it is these from which we want to detach. And suppose A feels a sense of depression, he can as validly and effectively externa- lise that feeling as he can dislike of B.
3 Emotions, like energy, are neither created nor destroyed. They are reflected, and they are transformed. And here we are con- cerned with their reflection.
4 But the problem now is that with an isolated emotion, it's not so obvious where it's coming from.
5 Because we know that every one of us is basically no more than a reflecting surface which identifies with the images it reflects (BI 31), we can be quite sure that the emotion does not originate in us, that it MUST come from SOMEWHERE outside of us, but the question is: 'Where?'
6 In BI 12 we talked of externalising 'alien' attitudes and feelings, i.e. emotions which came directly from the world outside The Process (BI 12.2). Now we can begin to apply it to ALL attitudes and feelings.
7 Also at that time we were primarily concerned with detachment rather than the subsequent healing potential. We were concerned with breaking compulsive links with the human game (2.6) rather than establishing non-compulsive links.
8 Therefore, in those days, PRECISELY from where the alien feelings came was less important than the simple recognition that they were alien and therefore not ours. We spoke of pinpointing the source of our negative feelings where possible (2.5), but provided there was a recognition of the general area and direction of the source, the main emphasis was on separating what was 'ours' from what belonged to the world outside. (2.12.)
9 Then, we were still in the process of separation. Now we are in the process of unity. Therefore it is more important that we know precisely the source of our negative feelings, so that having detached from them, we can, where possible, move in and heal.
10 But even without the subsequent healing, a precise location of the source point is very useful in order to give greater reality to the externalising. It's a major step to know that a feeling is coming from somewhere outside yourself, but that knowledge is considerably reinforced by a clear view of precisely WHERE outside yourself.
11 So the first question in &xternalising an apparently isolated emotion is: 'From where is the emotion coming?'
12 There is, of course, no one answer to this question, which covers all situations.
13 Feelings can come to us from anywhere; close by, far away, familiar entities, alien entities, groups, individuals, concepts, situations, the past, the future; anything to which we have chosen to attune ourselves.
14 We are like radio sets, with a capacity to tune in to countless different transmitting stations, as we choose. There is no emotional state or projection in the Universe which, if it is required of us, we cannot receive and reflect.
15 So basically the scope is unlimited. But bearing that in mind in order to allow for all contingencies, there are always ways of narrowing down the field, according to the laws of probability.
16 When you experience an apparently isolated negative emotion, and you want to externalise and detach from it, first look briefly for a circumstantial cause which is easily and immedi- ately changeable. For example, if you feel discomfort, and there is a heavy wooden chest resting on your foot, don't look elsewhere for the source of your discomfort until you have removed the chest!
17 But when you are satisfied that all immediately liftable burdens have been lifted, if the negative emotion remains, look for its source point. Look for where it is manifesting and projecting towards you.
18 At the source point it may well be an unconscious manifestation. It may not be outwardly apparent. (That is so often the way with negative emotions. The reflection is conscious whilst the source is unconscious).
19 But nevertheless if you 'reach out' towards the most probable sources, if you picture them one by one, allow yourself to 'feel' them. to dwell on them, to open up to them, then one of them, if your search is accurate, will 'respond' in tune with the emotion which you have picked up.
20 Supposing you feel a sense of depression. You decide that there are certain most likely possible sources of that depression. You test them one by one. You reach out to them. First perhaps, your companion. No answering flicker there; no feeling of depression coming from him. Next, someone else to whom you feel particularly close. Nothing there. Then a group of people with whom you have just had contact. Aha! a 'response'. The feeling of depression intensifies as you dwell upon this group. You 'see' them. You feel their projections. Depression. You have located the source point.
21 THEIR depression came from somewhere else again. But that is not your concern. What matters, at this stage at least, is that YOU are choosing to receive a feeling of depression from THEM.
22 Now this does not mean that that is ALL they are feeling. It does not even mean that they are necessarily manifesting the depression openly. But on some level to some considerable extent they do feel it, and it's that feeling which you have chosen to receive and reflect.
23 Depression may be their most intense projection at the moment. It may be the one which particularly concerns you. Whatever the reason, its the one which you are reflecting, and by KNOWING you are reflecting it, and also from where it's coming, you automatically externalise it, and now you are in a position to detach from it.
24 What you do from that moment on is up to you. Perhaps there is a compulsive identification link to be broken there (BI 12). Perhaps there is a healing task to be done, and by tuning in to these particular feelings you are telling yourself that the task is yours. Perhaps you simply wanted a burden and now you can discard it.
25 This example makes the whole operation sound terribly simple. Basically it is, and often that's just how it happens. But just as often, on the surface at least, it's not as clear cut. Confusions arise about the source point. We begin to doubt whether its not just us after all. Answer? Look for the source of the confusion and externalise it! Look for the source of the doubt and externalise it!
26 Every feeling you have you are reflecting from SOMEWHERE. Just remember that.
27 The immediate source may be within yourself but out of time; a recall of the past. (BI 5.3.19 & 20).
28 Somewhere else in space or somewhere else in time. One or the other or both, but always somewhere else.
29 You may not always pinpoint the source of an emotion with complete accuracy. But practise, and it will become easier and easier.
30 You will even begin to RECOGNISE particular feelings. Without even having to reach out to the source, you can at once identify it by the hallmarks of the feeling itself. 'Aha!' you think as an intense emotion comes in, 'I know from experience where THAT one comes from.' And sure enough reaching out to the source, or even direct contact with the source, confirms your judgement.
31 Often - and more and more frequently as externalising becomes second nature to you - you will find that your signal for having found the source, instead of being an immediate intensification of the emotion, is an instantaneous lifting of it. Detachment becomes so automatic on the location of the source of an emotion, that it happens unconsciously, and thereby indicates to your outer consciousness the success of your search.
32 You can be shaming with reflected nerves, and as soon as you locate the source - which may or may not be in your immediate environment - the feeling can switch off like an electric light.
13. 1 Negative attitudes towards ourselves seldom manifest outwardly as such. A person may SAY that he dislikes himself or is ashamed of himself or despises himself. But usually the con- scious feeling is directed towards something he has done, or a situation he has created,
2 Whichever it is, a negative emotion which is either directed, or so closely related as to SEEM directed, towards self, is reflected from a time in the past. (Which is why the psycho- analyst, quite validly, sends his patient searching in the past for the source of his current problem).
3 If we can easily pinpoint the moment in time from which we are reflecting such an emotion, then its as well to do so. It may temporarily intensify, but it will also very quickly lift, unless we fight against our recognition of the source point.
4 However it is not essential. We know the emotion comes from the past, Therefore we equally know that it does not have to be a part of now, unless WE choose to make it so.
5 Also, in the past we reflected that emotion and identified with it, decided it was 'ours' and thereby solidified it, And from that solidification, by means of Quilt or fear, or both, stemmed all the subsequent re-enactments of the emotion.
6 So with the knowledge of externalisation, we know that not only is this particular negative emotion not a part of 'now', except by our current choice, but when we originally felt it, it was also not a part of ourselves, except by our current choice.
7 That knowledge is enough, as long as it constitutes a real con- viction, to give us the control necessary for detachment.
8 And with detachment, we can, if appropriate, reverse as far as possible the CURRENT circumstances, associated with our self- negation. We can 'right' what in our terms we feel we have CURRENTLY made 'wrong'. Or we can come to realise, if such is the case that what we have done is not really 'wrong' at all, and accept it.
14. 1 Usually, in the New Game, we pick up negative feelings in order to be able to understand them, and having externalised them, to lift them as far as possible from the place where they are mani- festing. That is the primary purpose of this kind of identifica- tion; to put us in a position from which we can HEAL.
2 How we go about the actual process of healing, beyond the initial validation of simple awareness, depends on the circumstances. But there need be no complications, only slightly different applica- tions of the same basic principle.
3 BI 17 indicates the simplicity.
4 "Do not be detoured by the complex and often unattainable demands, which are expressed by a devious mind that has played havoc with the simple desires of the soul. Give contact; give love. It satisfies everything." (5.7)
5 And: "WHERE CONTACT IS REAL, THE GIFT OF CONTACT IS THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING. WHERE LOVE IS REAL, THE GIFT OF LOVE IS THE HEALER OF ALL ILLS." (4.3)
6 And: "WHERE THERE IS LOVE, RESPOND TO IT. WHERE THERE IS NO LOVE, GIVE IT." (5.13.)
7 Now we have a way of knowing, when it is not outwardly apparent, where there is love and where there is no love. Without externalis- ing, we are inclined to identify with a 'no love' state and thereby have no love ourselves to give. But if we externalise, 'place' the state of 'no love' where it belongs, then we can reach behind it and beyond it, identify with a deeper feeling which INCLUDES love but cannot reach the surface in order to manifest outwardly, and reflect THAT instead. THEN we can give love, genuinely and effectively.
8 That is contact. That is validation. That is healing. It is by no means always easy, especially in situations where negative emotions run high. But the more we do it, the easier it will become. The more we take the trouble to do it consciously, the closer we come to doing it unconsciously. So that eventually it becomes 'second nature'.
15. 1 In terms of externalising, healing can be defined as tuning into a person's basic sense of personal velidity, thereby reinforcing it and giving it precedence over the less basic sense of invalidity which causes sickness.
2 What we actually DO in order to reinforce that sense of validity, once we have tuned in to it, needs no definition. Because if we really HAVE tuned in, then our inclinations will tell us what to do. There is no set formula. The end results, in terms of healing, will not indicate the quality of our techniques, but the extent to which we have externalised a negative attitude and successfully found and identified with a positive one. And beyond our own sincere application of all that we know of healing, THAT is determined by the Will of GOD.
3 But one thing to remember in relation to what you 'do' after having externalised a negative attitude. If your intention is to produce a positive result, then DON'T immediately INternalise the person from whom the attitude came, by pointing out that it's him, with the implication - albeit sweetly condescending - that he had better do something about it. If you find yourself doing that, then you can be fairly sure that although you may have externalised the negative attitude, you have not yet laid it aside. You're enacting it! Which is fine; but it's as well to know it and not to expect an immediate positive outcome.
16. 1 This latest warning leads us to another area, closely connected with externalising. And that is the area of suggestion.
2 Suggestion is one of the most powerful forces in the world. In its crudest form it is used in advertising - very effectively. That is to give you a simple idea of what it is. But in countless other far subtler forms, we are using it. all the time with one another both constructively and destructively.
3 Jehovah used the power of suggestion when He convinced Adam and Eve that they would die if they ate of the tree of knowledge. The Serpent used it when he convinced Eve that the reverse was true. And Eve used it when she convinced Adam of the same.
4 Parents use it in the moral education of their children. Politicians use it in their public orations. Journalists use it in their columns.
5 It is by the power of suggestion whether consciously calculated or unconsciously spontaneous, that we lead one another towards or away from particular beliefs, agreements, values, moralities, realities and attitudes.
6 In this context we are concerned with the last of these. ATTITUDES.
7 Everyone of us, to some extent or another, is in a position to influence people's attitudes by the power of suggestion. And the stronger our personality, the greater our influence in this direction. Also the greater our authority, the greater our influence; the greater our stature, the greater our influence; the greater our confidence, the greater our influence.
8 And the greater our influence, the greater our responsibility.
9 Now if we have a negative emotional attitude, supposing we give credence to it, rationalise it, justify it, and on that basis express it, act upon it or project it; then we influence all those who are subject to our power of suggestion, towards the same negative emotional attitude.
10 If we have a negative attitude TOWARDS another person and give THAT credence and act on it, then, apart from helping to set those who are influenced by us against that person, we are more than likely to influence the person himself, and reinforce the negative attitude he already has towards himself.
11 When a person feels self-hatred, he is usually very much subject to the power of suggestion of those who reflect that self-hatred back at him. And the self-hatred is thereby reinforced, increased and perpetuated.
12 Therefore when we tune in to negative attitudes, unless we exter- nalise and rise above those attitudes, we are liable to rationalise them, give voice to our rationalisations, and thereby send out a mass of negative suggestion.
13 'So and so is an idiot. He is incapable of doing the simplest job.’ The expression of such an irrational negative agreement stems from a negative emotional attitude; probably one of intense irritation or contempt. And the agreement will take root, consciously or unconsciously and to one extent or another, in the minds of those who hear it expressed. If similar agreements are frequently expressed about the same person, the roots will spread and solidify. And if they are expressed or repeated in the presence of that person himself, then the original negative attitude, which was his, will have further rationalisations to give it substance, and will thereby intensify and also solidify. %0T, overall, a very positive outcome.
14 That, in its simplest form is he power of suggestion - in this case, negative suggestion.
15 It's not rare. But it's usually unconscious. People insult one another, glibly and without thought, and also without the faintest idea of what they are doing to one another; partly because they are unaware of the extent of their own power, and partly because they are unaware of one another’s susceptibility to suggestion.
16 But if we externalise our negative attitudes rather than rationalise them, we may not always be able to rise above them straight away; we may even have to express them sometimes before we can leave them behind. But at least we can always stop short of insult. At least we can always stop short of negative suggestion in its most obvious and most easily avoidable form.
17 So, if in doubt, externalise. If in fear, externalise. If in any negative frame of mind whatever, externalise.
17. 1 This is a gift from outside of the mind. It's a major aspect of the power to heal, and it comes from the concept of the Unity of Christ and Satan. It combines the Love of Satan with the Wisdom of Christ; the Magick of Satan with the Knowledge of Christ. And the best and only way to validate the gift is to use it.
2 And remember, if we do validate it by constructive use, we shall have more gifts. That's how it's always been!
So be it.
[Signature -- Robert]
September 1973 ROBERT DE GRIMSTON
THIS MATERIAL IS THE PROPERTY OF THE PROCESS
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